Dearest Salleh,
It's been 6 days since I knew you were gone outta sight. This note, I made it for you. It's nothing much. I just wanna let you know that you've been in my head eversince everything went so wrong and ridiculous for me to accept the fact.
I know that we both know we lost contact which due to unknown reasons. I would beg on my knees to bring you back again and to know everything before you go. I don't know if you can hear me, if you can see me. I'm really outta speech and words to how to apologize. My dearest Brother, I'm really sorry for not being there for you when you need me. Today, 4th Feb 2010, I was pretending to be so strong and chose not to cry even when I have to pass by the accident area. As I'm typing out these words, I know I will still cry.
Abang, do you know that I've loads of stories to tell you? I did not expect you to go back in the arms of Allah. If you're gone for overseas, I can still be okay. But knowing this, I'm totally outta my mind. I regret, Dear Brother. I regret for not being there for you. Your voice is still in my head. Your words, your advices, your smiles, your laughters, your frowns, your looks, your eyes, your actions and speech... They're all stuck in my head. I wanna be in your arms, Brother.
Why'd you have to go? Why don't you find me? Why don't you at least chat with me? I know I should've have been the one doing that. But Abang, I should at least know that you are not okay. You say that you'll be waiting for me, you said that you'll always be there for me... Why did you leave me now? Why, Abang? Why? Why didn't you tell me that you are not okay?
I'm sorry, Brother. I'm sorry, Allah. I'm angry with myself and the situation that's been done. Allah, I wanna see Salleh and my Dad again. I wanna be there with them, in your arms.
Allah, I've been sleepless and everything since the day my Brother left me and the rest. I'm sick now. Allah, please keep Salleh and my Dad safe in your arms and paradise. Please tell them that I'm happy that They're in your arms now. Please tell them to wait for me to there with them.
Dearest Allah, please keep me strong. Please keep me healthy. I need to keep moving on. Salleh and my Dad won't be happy if I keep being this way.
Al-Fatehah for them both.
Amin.
I'm missing my Dear Brother now. I really do. I'll wait for you to come by my side, Dear Brother Logan of mine. I know you're watching me now. I know you're reading this now. Remember, Abang... I'll Be There For You And I Will Still Love You. Even More~
Rest In Peace, Masta C.
Muhammad Salleh Bin Abdul Aziz
8 April 1987 - 27 February 2010
